Lillyala's Journal

Haven't updated in a while... here's what's been happening. I got the internship at RATIO, don't know if that was in here already or not. Worked there for two out of the three months and they offered me a full time (paid hourly) position, doing pretty much the same thing i was already doing. I took it and i'm still working there. I figure i'll work there for at least a year, maybe year and a halfish before either grad school or something else. I just don't think i'm cut out for the private sector. Too much stress. :-P

Anyway, still living with my parents. Apparently i'm too picky about where to live that i haven't found anything i like yet. I really have looked a lot though. Anyway, i got a new car... Shuga. Say good-bye to Charlotte. She was a good little car, if a bit unreiable there at the end. Shuga is a 2005 Aveo - 4 door, aqua. I love her.

No boy yet. Still lookin. Its hard to meet someone when you never go out on the weekends and spend your whole weeks at work. Also, with my friends being scattered around the country and off having babies and stuff, it gets hard to find someone to go out and hang with. Leslie assures me that she'll find me some hot IU grad students in her program to hook me up with though... ;)

That's about it i guess. It's been a long summer, but with all of the hours that i work it really has flown. Till next time (which may be quite a while...).

So graduation party friday, graduation saturday, a whole day packing yesterday, and a day's worth of moving today (in a nutshell).

Graduation was awesome. Pictures: http://photos.yahoo.com/flame476

Graduation party kicked ass.

Packing was boring.

Moving sucked. (like 80 degrees today.)

And now i have a whole summer living at home with my parents to look forward to.

Now, if only the pool was open...

Today is graduation! four long years and i finally get a piece of paper saying that i know how to do stuff. man i'm gonna miss it around here when i leave. i start my internship on may 16, it's going to be weird and awesome all in one! ok, off to prepare for gettin graduated. (i just hope i don't fall off of the stage.)

well, one final down, 3 to go. but to be fair, it's only 2, one being a paper due in two hours. of the two remaining, one is tomorrow morning, 7:30am sharp, the second is on friday. then i'll actually have to be a big kid and find a big kid job. sucks. i'm never freakin growing up, with or without the degree. :-P

so, my friend (shitfaced) started complaining about an ex she saw at the bar after i was kind enough to go pick their drunk asses up. she said something about him saying that he'd call her tomorrow. i happen to know the guy also. he hasn't called her in the past 3 weeks.
me: "i doubt he'll remember that"
her: "well he wasn't drunk"
me: "i don't care if he was drunk or not, i don't think he'll remember"
her: "well thanks"
me: "not trying to be mean, i'm just saying"
her: "well it was a pretty shitty thing to say"
me (to myself): wtf?? forgive me for giving an opinion. and i thought she was supposed to be over this anyway. why can't i just give a straight up answer for once without being bitched at by overly emotional/sensitive melanie who we think probably has a bipolar disorder anyway. it fuckin pisses me off. thank god i'm graduating and i don't have to deal with ungrateful drunk ass roommates who like to give me shit anymore. on the other hand, tom and alissa were very appreciative that i picked them up (it's cold outside).

wtf.

I've also just realized that I think I'd like to create a Doctor Who mood theme. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

End of the school year. Graduation is in 2 weeks, all of my papers being due at the end of next week. I wouldn't be so depressed about school ending, I think, if I'd been one of those go-getters who start their semester papers before the next to last week of classes. Good news is, one down, 3 to go (with one half finished). I'll be sad to move away from my wacky roommates, but all that matters now is the job finding. I have an interview with Ratio Architects on Tuesday morning. They want samples of my work. Let's hope I can get this job because it would be wonderful to make some money and get some experience.

I hate being in my stupid 20's. I'm 22 now. Dede (a roommate) says just wait for age 25. That's apparently when all of the drama hits, no matter who you are. She has a good theory, but I'm still a bit skeptical.


Just for a bit of fun, here's a list of my newest obsessions:
1. Doctor Who, which I have to download because of my Americanism (also I just made 2 icons for this :-D)
2. Overcompensating.com (wishing him luck that he doesn't die today)
3. Warren Ellis, though this has been going on for a few months now
4. Doodling (not sure why, just seemed fitting the last few days)


Ok, I suppose I should get back to life stuff now. Maybe now that my life might actually get more exciting post graduation (at least that's what I'm hoping), I'll update more and have more to say.

Stolen from facingthesun, and I thought it looked like fun. :) Here goes:



1. What's on your bedside table?
My bed is lofted, but i can tell you what's on my dresser: candels, figurines, pictures of family and friends, souvineer cups, a couple of stuffed toys, and all of my jewelery.

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
I had some one hit onders, like semisonic and new radicals. But if we're talking truly geeky, I have a weird Al cd.

3. What do you eat when you raid your fridge at night?
Anything I can find, pudding, fruit, leftovers, etc.

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
I bawled during Titanic and City of Angels. This is why I don't watch them all the way through anymore. Also, anything tragic.

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
I would never have it done (a moral thing :P ) but in fantasy land I would get a boob job so that I can break away from the A-cup. :P

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Being by myself late at night, anything to do with dark basements, and cornfields in general (post Signs).

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I think I just get quiet. But I'm usually quiet anyway, so it's probably hard to tell.

8. Do you ever have to beg?
Not usually, but there's no shame in begging. ;)

9. Do you have too many love interests?
Only in my head...

10. Do you know anyone famous?
If you consider people who could potentiall become famous, than perhaps.

11. Describe your bed.
It has green colored T-shirt sheets, a blue/green plaid comforter, and a pillow for my head plus one to keep my alarm clock from falling off. (loft, remember) Also it ususally has some quilt or another that my mom made on it.

12. Spontaneous or plan?
Always spontaneous. Plans are for wusses.

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Lindsay Lohan. A cute redhead with freckles should be played by a cute redhead with freckles. So call me narcissistic ;).

14. Do you know how to play poker?
I think I've learned a few times, but currently I only know that a flush beats a straight.

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
My wallet, my phone, my keys, and a hair tie (just in case)

16. How do you drive?
Pretty well, but the window's usually down and the radio is always blaring.

17. What do you miss most about being little?
No freakin responsibilities. Can I go back to elem. or high school now? Pleeeeease?

18. Are you happy with your given name?
Not really. Jennifer is too incredibly plain. I make up original ones sometimes. (ex. Lillyala)

19. What color is your bedroom?
I'm in a rental house, so the walls must stay light blue, but they fit with my white painted furniture and my bedspread, etc.

20. What was the last song to which you were listening?
I couldn't tell you. About 10 songs will play in my head during the course of any day. I don't remember which were real and which were in my head.

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
No, but I wanted to be.

22. Have you ever been in love?
Do cute tatooed skateboarding boys in my imagination count? ;) (hey, he exists in real life too.)

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
I like myself just fine. I'm a little unsure of where my academic interests lie though.

24. Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
Nope. Barely even underage drank.

25. Do you think you're cute?
Of course. Now why can't other people figure it out? ;)

26. Do you consider yourself a nice person?
When I want to be. If I don't like you, you'll know it.

First off, hi. I realize that it's been just short of forever since I've updated, but what can I say, I'm easily distracted into doing other things. Now for the update.

( Long Boring Update )

and i'm not even gonna put anything relevant to my life right now (and let's face it, there's not really anything going on anyway). i just wanted to post a conversation i had. please ignore the lol's and haha's. it makes us sound 13, but who doesn't, huh? i just thought it was funny.


Entitled: Roommate nicknames

Flame476: 'boys will rue the day they messed with mel the malicious'
melmualaf: haha... and jen the... the...
melmualaf: i don't know
Flame476: lol
Flame476: s'alright
melmualaf: and jen the jaundiced?
melmualaf: i don't think that workse
melmualaf: *works
Flame476: you totally just went to dictionary.com didn't you
melmualaf: lol
melmualaf: yeah
Flame476: haha
Flame476: it's ok, you get points for effort;-)
melmualaf: i tried
melmualaf: i still can't find anything
melmualaf: j is hard!
Flame476: lol
Flame476: how about justifier
melmualaf: yeah!
melmualaf: good job
Flame476: see, free cell is way better for your thinking-ness than dictionaries
Flame476: or jouster, but that doesn't work
melmualaf: my guess was going to be jen the jabber;-)
melmualaf: lol
Flame476: or judicial
melmualaf: no... justifier was the best
Flame476: or janky
Flame476: hehe
melmualaf: jen the janky
melmualaf: haha
Flame476: hey, i'll jank you up
melmualaf: we could say jen the jankity-ass justifier
Flame476: lol
Flame476: i didn't think of anything else for mel
melmualaf: and dd the doornail
Flame476: aww
melmualaf: lol... that was dumb:-P
Flame476: dd the defender
melmualaf: oh yea!
melmualaf: that's totally her
Flame476: lol
melmualaf: i'm bad at making up names
Flame476: hehe
Flame476: alissa the ass kicker
Flame476: the assassinator
melmualaf: woah... that's what i was typing
Flame476: lol
melmualaf: the assassinator!
Flame476: alissa the avenger
melmualaf: you could be higgy the horrible:-P
Flame476: lol
Flame476: i like horrific better
Flame476: less hagar-ish
melmualaf: yeah
melmualaf: lol
melmualaf: hey... hagar is cool

yeah, that's about it. isn't that sad? this is my enjoyment this summer. :-P

Ok, I've got what I had hand written typed up, plus a little extra because it sort of ended abruptly. Now don't let my sloppy lj typing fool you, i actually think i have quite good grammar skills, even if i perhaps do need to invest in a thesaurus.

well, here's what i got... all 1,400 words so far. maybe like a ch. 1, i dunno yet if it will even continue. it doesn't even have a title yet.

( My first fic, Ch. 1 )

1. Go to Google (or Yahoo) and type, "You know you're from (your state) when . . . "
2. Cut and paste the list
3. Bold the items that apply to you.

Lifted from sadbhyl, among others . . .



You Know You're From Indiana When...
author unknown

You've never met any celebrities.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to the State Fair.

You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

You measure distance in minutes.

You know several people who have hit a deer.
including my cousin, and my mom has hit two...

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."

Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.

Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.

You know where all the Yoders live.

You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
like every day of the spring and fall

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "Who are you gonna go with?"

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
or in some cases a bridge...

De-tassling was your first job (that's de-tassling corn for you city folk).

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.

You say catty-wumpus and kitty-corner.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
no, but I am very familiar with that jello; my mom makes it often

When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."

You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.

You carry jumper cables in your car.
no, but i should...

You know what "cow tipping" is.
and have friends who claim to have done it



wow, that's a lot of bolded answers...
(btw, corn is knee high by the 4th of july) ;)

Ok, so really nothing of any importance has happened since I last wrote. I'm still interning, which basically means that I work 8 hours a day for no pay and all I do is sit around making phone calls and copying things. Researching properties at the county building also seems to be popular. :-P

I had a fun, brief encounter with a very cute boy from the county building at lunch last week. It was cute because we said hi and then noticed that we had brought the same book to read during lunch. He followed me to my table and spoke a little, then pulled out his book for the next 40 minutes. Then I said goodbye and left because lunch was over and he said bye and kept reading. I'm so bad at flirting that it really is pathetic. I still don't know that guy's name...

Saw him again today in the park at lunch time, but he was coming as Lauren and I were leaving.

I had (what I thought to be) and interesting idea for a Spuffy story the other day. I was reading Fray and wondered how Spike would like Mel. Then I thought, well there's kind of a version of her from "the wish" when killer instinct Buffy stole the stage. It'd be cool to see how and interaction b/w Spike and the "channeled" essence of hardass Buffy would play out. It would also be great in NC-17, which seems to be the only fics I read anymore, but I definitely know I wouldn't be able to write those for shit. I don't know anyone who writes that I could give the idea to, so I thought I'd try writing myself. Well, just as I though, I'm not very good, but what can I say? I never claimed to be a writer. If anyone writerish reads this and wants to steal my idea, go for it. I'd like to see it played out.

I might post the beginning to the story that I wrote out long hand in another post later. I mostly just wrote out a few scenes of intro to lead into the idea. We'll see.

they have been working on the freaking basement forever. we moved in last august. originally, they told us that the basement (being converted from a 5th bedroom to a separate 1 bedroom apartment) would be finished by the time we moved in. Hell no. They still aren't done. It's ridiculous. They won't hire people to just get it finished, no, they have to do it themselves and spend 2 years on it. They constantly do construction, not starting on it until at least 8/9pm at night and sometimes working till midnight. Sometimes later. We've pointed out that it would be nice if they would mention when they'd be working so that if we needed to study, etc, we could maybe go elsewhere, like the library. We thought this was resonable, but they aparently just don't care. They've had parties at our house outside with 30+ relatives and never mentioned it to us.

What set me off tonight is that they've apparently been painting, and about a half hour ago i started smelling paint fumes. Jessi (a roommate) and I both have been getting horrible headaches and when I went down to ask how long they would be painting because fumes are coming upstairs (and believe it or not, before we moved in they did something with the windows and made sure none of the downstairs windows open), they looked at me like, "what nerve" and said that they were done quite a while ago. That doesn't change the fact that it's now 11pm and my bedroom and the living room are filled with paint fumes and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it. Hopefully I'll wake up in the morning, after sleeping in paint fumes all night. Stupid landlords and their high and mighty attitudes. They never fix anything, and if they do they wait around for weeks until the problem is so bad that it takes them days to fix it.

They came into my room a few weeks ago to put in a data port so that my computer cord wouldn't have to run through the dining room. Well, it was 9pm when they came and said they were doing it, and then they had to move all of my stuff around and i had to sit in the living room for 2 hours. After all of the hammering and shouting, i ended up with a hole in my wall with a couple of wires hanging though. It's still there with no signs of progress.

I think i'm gonna throw up from the fumes. It's time for bed.

so i haven't written in forever. not a lot going on i guess. grades were good this semester, so that's something to be happy about. the big news, i suppose, is that my best guy friend (probably in the whole wide world) informed me recently that his girlfriend is now his fiance and that the baby will be born octoberish. definitely a shocker, i really didn't see it coming. obviously an accident. i tried really hard to be all supportive friend and chipper mood, you know, "it's a good thing, you're gonna be a great dad" and all, and i really do think he'll be a great dad, but i can't help also having that, "but he's my friend/ first boyfriend, and you can't have him!" attitude. i know, i suck. but his band played again while i was home. they have a new singer, and he really is awesome.

i've spend a lot of my time at home with my family. it's nice to be around, but i'm starting to go crazy after two weeks.

on the internship front, i've been working at it since i got home and finally landed a job that will be totally awesome, or so it seems. i'm definitely excited, and i start this coming wednesday, which means i'll return to muncie tomorrow. i won't get paid, but hopefully i can get something once my 200 hours are up that i can keep through the school year. i haven't given up on studying abroad, but it's looking dim. i'm just hoping that by making some money i can get my parents on board.

AND NOW FOR SOME ANGEL SPOILERS. I'M TOO LAZY TO PUT ALL THE EFFORT INTO A CUT RIGHT NOW, SINCE I DON'T SPEND ANY TIME AT ALL MESSING WITH LJ, SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK, CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

gotta say, i was definitely entertained. there wasn't a slow moment in the whole show. there were those moments, you know the ones, that mostly just have you cracking up. example, "I want you Lindsey," Spike reading poetry, the total destruction of the WRH offices during a big fight scene, to which i could just see the planning dialog, "It's over. Let's just destroy the whole damn office and capture it all on film. Maybe we can also take a few sledge hammers to it after we cut, just for kicks." Also, i liked that they sent spike in to get the baby, though i was yelling, "you can't fight with a baby!" and i really enjoyed the angel&conner at the coffee shop. I now absolutely loooove Wes/Illyria, maybe more so than wes/fred and i was a huge w/f shipper. i was really hoping that during the death scene wes might just want illyria to be herself. i hated lindsey's death, i was hoping that he would have been the only casualty (i was unspoiled) or that maybe just lorne leaving would have been enough. i don't think i could stand an angelverse w/o wes in it, damnit. and the ending was so very different from buffy's ending. basically a "sun comes out shining on a new future" vs. "possible death and destruction of the entire world leading to an epic apocalypse or maybe it'll end alright, we just don't wanna share." i think personally i would've liked a more solid ending, but it really did work for the series, so consider my applause given.

i'm pretty sure no one reads my lj, so i'm going to post a bunch of tru calling spoilers w/o a cut.

so i had this revelation this morning. it's a shame that it couldn't be about something relevant to my academic life, but we take what we get. it was about the tv show "Tru Calling" that i watch. i finally saw last weeks episode today, in which at the very end they find out that Jack thinks that he's been reliving days. i figured that this was the deal ever since he came along, as i sure everyone else did. but even though i originally though he was going to be an alterego character to tru, now it might be different. after the big speech that jack gave to harrison about death coming anyway, it makes sense. so there was this suicidal girl that harrison saved, but then she got a mysterious call and killed herself anyway. it was obviously because of jack. well, maybe instead of wanting the girl dead, what he was really doing was trying to keep her dead because he thinks that that is the way it should be, and that you shouldn't mess with that. and this probably comes from the fact that jack himself came back to life because of modern medics, and he doesn't think that he should've lived. so maybe once he is told or finds out about tru's abilities, he can either become a big asset because he'll be reliving the days with her, or he'll become a big problem because he'll try to stop her at every turn and keep her from it. which wouldn't be good because she has enough trouble already.

and can i just say, i think i'm in love with davis. so cute. "great dungeon master" -look from tru, "did i really just say that out loud?" while shaking his head. awwww.

cleveland didn't give me the job. they freakin blew me off for two weeks and then sent me an extremely short and snippy rejection email. my options are becoming limited.

and now for the real reason why i'm posting. it was just too awesome to pass on.



hell yeah baby!

so i have to wonder sometimes, what exactly motivates my parents' decisions? my cause for questions lies in their reaction to the study abroad program that i told them about today.

i went to this meeting friday where i found out that i could study in the netherlands (a far cry from muncie, IN let me tell ya). it would cost about the same for a semester there as for one at BSU, i'd still graduate on time, and i'd have this awesome experience. what do my parents say? absolutely not. i think it's becase they're so hung up on how much college actually costs. not that i blame them, it's quite a chunk of change. but they refuse to let me get loans because they don't want them hanging over my head. so when i said that i'd get a loan to pay for it, they said no, and then when i kept nagging, my dad threw back how i shouldn't complain because college is expensive and they can barely afford it anyway (but oddly, i'm still not allowed to get loans). which makes me wonder what the real reason is that i can't go.

i'm still going to see if i can get any aid through the school for study abroad students to maybe change their minds, but since i don't qualify for most financil aid, it's useless for me to fill out a FAFSA normally, which means that i already missed the recent deadline even if i could get aid.

it's a lot of bitching i'm putting down here, but i can't help but notice the catch-22 going on.

and wonder why i'm really not allowed to go...


*also a test to see if that html tag really works...

so i just heard the news that a 2nd year girl committed suicide in one of the campus dorms tonight. i don't wanna sound insensitive about it, so i'd hope that anything i'm about to say wouldn't be taken the wrong way. but what's up with that? this make 4 student deaths all in this past school year. the last student at Ball State that was killed was in 1999. ok, so technically only 2 of the 4 were killed, but still. this makes one shot by a campus cop (that's right, a rookie cop shot a drunk student who was staggering toward him), one that was killed by two muncie residents after offering to drive them home after a house party and was also robbed of $2, one who was killed while drunk driving over spring break, and the recent suicide. actually, there was a guy killed last year on spring break in florida due to some sort of water accident.

but back to the topic at hand. i'm sure that it's all gonna be blamed on alcohol, which just turns into terrorizing the student body, on and off campus. even though i don't drink, because i'm 21 i can be held accountable if i have too many people over some night. they're busting house parties left and right, and not even like most people will think. they're getting people for noise complaints, being able to actually see the party, but also stuff like a lot of cars out front means there must be a party or if the lights are on at 3 in the morning the cops will come knocking and start handing out citations.

i just hope that the girl who died tonight wasn't on a friend of mine's floor. i mean, she already had one attempted suicide on her floor a few months ago.

geez, Ball State is really starting to suck.

let's see, what's goin on... first off, i've given up on the mood. i was all excited at first, but now i'm not interested enough to fix it again. maybe someday.

i last wrote from spring break, and it's been two weeks since then. within that time i've:
*had the speaker event. went well, but not as well as i had hoped it would. but hey, i survived, right?
*wrote and assload of soc papers. small ones, but hey, i still had to do them.
*have taken two tests this week. another B in roman history, and lord knows in my facilities planning, because frankly, that test was evil. i'm serious, there was some meniacle laughing going on during the creation of that thing.
*cleaned the kitchen twice, dammit.
*got myself some new eye candy. talked to him very little, but it's always nice to have a new boy to smile at and get a smile back.
*saw hellboy. if you see any movie in the near future, make it this one.
*got some cute new shoes. you have to realized that i almost never shop. it was highly exciting.
*got an A on a project for my sustainable communities class. and since i *did* do 3/4 of the project, i think it was well deserved.
*cincinnati called back telling me that it's a go for the internship. the woman spoke to me briefly, then asked, "so are you originally from Cincinnati?" "no, i live in muncie, IN and am from brazil, IN originally" (which is clearly stated on my resume) "Oh, i'm sorry, one of the restrictions is that any intern must be from Cincinnati or attending a college in hamilton county" "well i attend Ball State in Muncie" (also clearly on my resume) "I'm sorry, we were so looking forward to having an intern. Well good luck on your search" God dammit, wtf?? did they even read my resume? Grr.. now cleveland is my only hope, and i'll be talking to them tomorrow. let's hope it goes well, or i'm back to square one on April 5, 2004 looking for a summer 2004 internhsip. >:(
*got some more books. and a healthy new ambition. though i don't harbor fantasies of ever becoming an author (cause of the whole no talent/experience thing), i've decided that the thing that would probably make me the happiest in life it to run my own bookstore. i have no experience in business, but i think i'm sensible and level headed and mathmatically intelligent enough to pull it off.. or at least to be able to hire the right people to take care of that shit. however, since i'm currently only 21 with no job and quite an investment on her parent's part to accomplish this college degree (that would have absolutely nothing to do with a bookstore in any form), i'm afraid that this dream will have to be put on hold for a few years. or at least until i can find a sugar daddy to support me. ;)

Other than that, i think i'm pretty tapped out for this entry. guess i'll go read my new books.